Ronin

Movie: Ronin
Year: 1998
Date Watched: Thursday, September 17
Top Stars: Robert De Niro, Jean Reno, Sean Bean, Jonathan Pryce, Natascha McElhone
Recommendation: No. I felt this was a bad action movie with a car chase that lasted sooooo long that it became comical that no one died and everyone walked away with killing the entire city. Suspension of disbelief was gone about five minutes into the 15-minute car chase. Also, the entire story revolves around chasing a briefcase that no one even knows why they're chasing it. And there's no reward to the audience at the end of the movie. Felt like a WWE PPV main event that went 30 minutes and then ended with eight guys doing a run-in and the DQ finish with the heel champion retaining the title. Unsatisfying, over-done movie. Yet, the movie seemed to fit the title, which is Japanese for outlaw cast-offs meandering through life trying to find their way. Kind of like this movie.

Midnight Meat Train

Movie: Midnight Meat Train
Year: 2008
Date Watched: Saturday, September 12
Top Stars: Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Vinnie Jones
Recommendation: Heck to the no. One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Senseless gore with no explanation for why any of this is taking place. Hero turns heel, damsel in distress gets killed, and we have no idea why any of these killings are taking place. They try to conclude with some random explanation about the meat-eating aliens showing up before earth and they apparently like to ride the trains or some crap. An absolute waste of time with gore for the sake of gore and no plausible explanations for how a conductor is running a train where killings are taking place.

Private Valentine

Movie: Private Valentine
Year: 2008
Date Watched: Friday, September 11
Top Stars: Jessica Simpson, Vivica A. Fox, Steve Guttenberg
Recommendation: Yes. Very formula movie that felt like every other movie centered on a celebrity singer/actor. Spoiled, rich, famous, humbled, fall from grace, redemption, happy ending. Nothing wrong with a formula movie if it's well-acted and has some good moments. No one should expect A-Level acting here, but Jessica was entertaining in her role and the transformation of her character was fun to watch through the various situations. Great date movie.

Hot Paint

Movie: Hot Paint
Year: 1988
Date Watched: Wednesday, September 9
Top Stars: John Larroquette, Gregory Harrison, Mike Starr (the "gas man" from Dumb & Dumber)
Recommendation: Yes with the brain turned off. Movie had plenty of funny gags that ran throughout the movie and were contained within individual scenes. Harrison showed tremendous range taking a ridiculous script and making it work. Larroquette was in his typical C-Level movie 1980s prankster role. The movie had so many coincidences to where it became a running gag that people would somehow be able to follow John and Gregory's characters around the world. Movie's script is so absurd, but in a funny way. Worth watching if you can take the absurdity and turn it into laughter.

Kingdom of Heaven

Movie: Kingdom of Heaven
Year: 2005
Date Watched: Sunday, September 6
Top Stars: Orlando Bloom, Liam Neeson, Michael Sheen
Recommendation: No. I did not like this movie at all. From a story perspective, it was difficult to keep track of the characters and who was on which side. The movie was also classic George Bush-era Hollywood propaganda trying to encourage b.s. "religious unity" among Christians and Muslims by showing how some sections of Christians were jerks in the 1000s, some Christians encouraged unity across religions, and most Muslims were peace-loving, nice people. The whole movie was a waste of two hours.

Frankie & Hazel

Movie: Frankie & Hazel
Year: 2000
Date Watched: Friday, September 4
Top Stars: Mischa Barton, Joan Plowright
Recommended: Yes. Sweet movie. Acting is a little rough all around, but the story is more important than the quality of acting. Good, wholesome family movie with some sports mixed in for the guys. Plus, one crazy editing job in the grocery store. Mischa Barton played a nice lead character with a variety of different issues to deal with in the storyline and plenty of hair styles to fit each scene.

Suspect

Movie: Suspect
Year: 1987
Date Watched: Thursday, September 3
Top Stars: Cher, Dennis Quaid, Eddie Sanger, Liam Neeson, John Mahoney
Recommendation: Yes. Cher plays a believable role as a lonely public defense attorney who suddenly stumbles on a case with some dark turns that slowly unravel. The finish of the movie comes out of nowhere, almost like a 25-minute pro wrestling match that ends with a sudden run-in by the ring announcer to end the match. Dennis Quaid is fun to watch hob-nob with Washington politicos before getting involved with Cher, who surpassed my expectations in this movie as an actor. Good movie that will keep you thinking, but possibly leave you frustrated at the end.

Blind Date

Movie: Blind Date
Year: 1987
Date Watched: Wednesday, September 2
Top Stars: Bruce Willis, Kim Basinger, George Feeney from Boy Meets World, John Larroquette, Phil Hartman
Recommendation: Definitely yes. Very funny, under-rated 1980s movie with plenty of running gags. Best part are the cameos from so many recognizable names and faces. An All-Star cast before they were all-stars. Includes happy ending.

A Horse for Danny

Movie: A Horse For Danny
Year: 1995
Date Watched: Thursday, August 27
Top Stars: Leelee Sobieski and Robert Urich
Recommendation: Yes. It's aimed at the heart strings and the female demo, but it's a simple, easy-to-follow mid-'90s TV movie cut from the same cloth as Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. There are no surprises and the characters are easy to figure out, but Sobieski's character is fun to watch interact with adults as she figures out where she stands in life as an 11-year-old. Easy movie that doesn't require thought.

The Man In The Moon

Movie: The Man In The Moon
Year: 1991
Date Watched: July 2009
Top Stars: Reese Witherspoon (movie debut!), Sam Waterston
Recommended: Yes. Good story of big sister vs. little sister, but one very sad twist in the movie.

Family Business

Movie: Family Business
Year: 1989
Date Watched: August 2009
Top Stars: Sean Connery, Dustin Hoffman, Matthew Broderick
Recommended: Yes. Good drama and strong character interplay. One very, very annoying loose end is never resolved at the end of the movie that will be frustrating and stick with you.

Killer Hair

Movie: Killer Hair
Year: 2009 Lifetime movie
Date Watched: August 14, 2009
Top Stars: Maggie Lawson, Mark Consuelos
Recommended: Yes, with the brain turned off

I Escaped From Devil's Island

Movie: I Escaped From Devil's Island
Year: 1973
Date Watched: August 21, 2009
Top Stars: NFL RB Jim Brown, Chris George
Recommended: Heck to the no. Movie made no sense, acting was terrible, and the ending had no resolution. Writer could script his way out of a paper bag.

The Great Outdoors

Movie: The Great Outdoors
Year: 1988
Date Watched: August 22, 2009
Top Stars: Dan Aykroyd, John Candy
Recommended: Yes, for some good laughs and clips of Dan A. putting a giant brick cell phone to his ear